It has been a long time since I have posted anything. Believe me (and Milton–who visited last week), it is not because the last couple weeks have been uneventful. Quite the contrary. We have been driving up and down Port-au-Prince for the last couple weeks, doing business as usual, but also dealing with some very special circumstances. The last few weeks have uncovered a lot of ironic situations. In almost every thing that we have done, we have had to plan very carefully to be sure that in helping we don’t bring in new problems. A couple weeks ago, we started to seriously evaluate the safest way to remove a child from a dangerous home. We know of the safe and legal ways to get the child far from danger and into a loving family or orphanage, but doing so can create a dangerous situation for the members of the organization that continue to work in the area. The child can be protected by taking him or her far away, but when we come back, there is very little to protect us from the child’s embarrassed or angered former “owner.” There is no telling what a man can do in rage for vengeance when he is already accustomed to mistreating a child by routine. And with a broken down law enforcement system, there is no guarantee of our protection.
Last week, we discovered that one of our children was on his fourth day of being home alone for what he said would be a month. They left him with next to nothing to eat, and he hadn’t eaten in days because he had no fuel for cooking. We solved that problem and proceeded to strategize around our next challenge. Our challenge was to provide food for this month without causing more problems for him. What problems? He lives very far away, so we cannot stop by daily or even weekly to give him a little something, but if we give him food for a month and the family returns early and find the food, what is to say that they won’t neglect him further in the future saying “go get some food from your little friends!” ? At the same time, we don’t want to act too secretively because this can be bad for the child in other ways. Another potential problem is that we also cannot stop him from “testifying” of our good deeds to his classmates who are also in need, and we try hard to avoid creating a high expectation in the minds of the other children that we cannot meet. After a lot of discussion, we made our delivery this week, and we are confident that we can handle any complication’s that may follow.
These situations are hard to avoid. In Haiti, even the very presence of an international organization giving aid can raise up complicated situations for the receivers. On Sunday, we had a meeting with some parents of a very, very poor school after many of them stopped paying for school when “blancs” (white people) came to visit the school. We had to reassure them that the director of the school is not getting rich off of our aid money for their children, and we had to remind them that our efforts have to be collaborative in order to be successful.
Yesterday, we went to another school directed by a man who has 8 children (not his own) living in his home. The day before that, his house was visited by social affaires, the police, and the U.N., after they had received a “tip” that he was mistreating children at his home. It was not true. He didn’t even have to say a word in his defense. The children, who eat well and even have personal home tutors to help them catch up to other students their age in school, spoke in his defense. Why would someone do this? He suspects its because people believe that he is making money off of aid that comes to the children. Such a call would have been made out of jealousy, not out of concern for the children. If this is the case, the accusers may have seen us visiting his school and drew a number of conclusions. You may wonder why people would think this, but it is true that many people do misuse aid funds, so it is a legitimate fear. But it is unfortunate that being an aid recipient (or distributor) would raise such distrust.
It’s an unfortunate irony. An aid organization is like a gold mine to many who receive, giving a service that is indespensible. But without a little care, the “gold” that is given can become a curse.
i get so convicted when i read your posts.
its reminds me of woman here in the philippines, who in trying not to give to much to anyone, because she was white– people started to make up stories to cause jealousy– like “she promised me that she would send my kids to school.” things like that when she had said and actually would not do such a thing at this time. the factor of jealousy is sad but it also its strange that even the jealousy can be fabricated and still lend to complications. and then jealousy can be real and lend to lying and accusation as it did in your story with the man having a “tip” given about him. but it seems like there is a place in character that proceeds this situation… is there? what is that place of character, how can it be addressed and nurtured before someone would act out in jealousy? can it be?
Q, I really wish I knew how to address this issue. I agree that there is a certain character that precedes it, but when and how does it develop? Yesterday afternoon I shared a lollipop with one of my kids and another one came by and tried really hard to pretend that she was upset with me because of jealousy (she wasn’t very successful). That jealousy was a childish game yesterday, but it was intended to be manipulative, so I did not fold so as to reinforce it… Where does it come from? Perhaps her parents or the culture… So how do you address it? Like any problem that has any roots in a culture or society, I believe that our only answer lies in a new generation that thinks differently. As you can see, I am a huge proponent for children’s ministry. With strong children’s ministries, you can alleviate any societal problem within 10-20 years. A much better rate than most of the world’s interventions.