If Only I Had the Time…

Last night, Joycelyne was sharing with me some of the details of a recent girl’s night out.   They went to a jazz/poetry club.  She had a lot of fun, and I got to hear every juicy detail (a very interesting night, haha).  It was so great to hear how her heart leaped, particularly, at some of these artists’ portrayal of love.  At every word she was responding, “that’s so true!”  I had many thoughts as she recounted to me some of the poetry that she heard, and how she felt like she could relate, but in the end one of my most prevailing thoughts was “Hey, I remember thinking/feeling the same thing!  I could have written something like that… If only I had more time to capture the many inspiring moments that pass every day through creative writing…”  I still write some poetry and music here and there, but I feel like I miss some of the most inspiring moments.  Part of me wishes that I could just be a professional artist… if I could make a living through creative writing, I would be thoroughly happy doing so.  But then again, I am also very happy with what I am doing and the path that I am on, so…

Today, a friend of mine invited me to see a concert where he was playing keyboard.  I stopped through in time to see one and a half of the opening groups.  They were okay, but the final (“star”) choir was very, very good.  Very good.  But I didn’t pay much attention to the choir though… I was watching the musicians, intrigued at the creative and intricate arrangements of keys, guitars, drums, congas, and a saxophone.  Every musician was so good at what they did, and most of them were around my age or younger.  As I watched them, I thought “I don’t play enough music… if only I had more time…”  If you know me, you know that when I see an instrument, and I want to play it.  I only officially play the guitar… but if I had the time, I would learn the keyboard, drums, bass, violin, bagpipe…. (yes, I said bagpipe… I came very close junior year).  As with writing, if I were able to play music 24/7, I would be thoroughly satisfied.

I find myself saying this for many more things…  For example, I downloaded a CAD program last year and started building house plans for fun….  I love it!  When I’m doing it, I could easily see myself doing architecture, as a hobby or even for a living.  I designed my friend’s house, which he is now building, and a friend of his bought a modified version of his plan.  I don’t really have time to do  plans right now, so now it sometimes serves as a procrastination tool.

I also think of this blog.  I was telling Joyce that I really think that I have one of the most interesting lives of many people that I know.  That’s not a proud or an arrogant statement, because I usually feel like I have so little to do with it.  I’ve simply been going along on a very exciting ride.  If I had more time, I’d write more about my interesting life… but maybe if I had more time, my life wouldn’t be as interesting.

I’m not sure what I am getting at here… I guess that one thing I’m kinda saying is that life must be more than simply finding something that you like or something that you are good at and doing it well.  I simply enjoy every bit of life itself and would have a hard time finding that ONE thing.  Another thing is that I hope that I will have several lifetimes worth of time in Heaven to do all of these things that I can’t do now.  And third, have you ever wondered if you actually have some of your priorities crooked and some of things that you want to be doing are what you should be doing all along?  I get that sneaking suspicion all the time.  I feel like my life is a balance that has seventeen arms… each chock full of opportunities, options, hobbies, and worthwhile endeavors.  I’m telling you, it’s not easy to keep that thing steady, but it is exciting.

Oh yeah… ORU

I am happy to announce that I was officially accepted into Oral Roberts University’s Masters in Divinity program earlier this month.  (Thank God).  God willing, I will start in August.  As for now, I am working through some of the financial details and looking forward to making “grown-up” decisions like renting an apartment or a home with people I have never met, budgeting, etc.  (Charles, I forgive you for abandoning our rooming plans and getting married… can’t blame you).  Pray for me, ya’ll.

If you know of a scholarship that someone like me might qualify for, let a brother know.

Peace.

How my internship got me…

I might have been disappointed if my work arrangements in Haiti were anything short of miraculous.  With that said, I can say that I am a very happy man.  God really hooked me up this time… as usual.

It all started in October.  Really it started long before that, as all of my stories seem to, but to be brief, lets start on the night of October 27, 2008.  That night, Pastor (and Prophet) Jim Laffoon made a visit to Duke University, picked me out of a crowd and started “reading my mail.”  This was one of the few times in my life that I felt so naked and transparent, as if my life really were an open book, accessible to anyone who could hear the voice of God.  After accurately recounting many of the things that God had placed on my heart, both past and present, Pastor Laffoon assured me that God was going to place me in a “divine internship” during my next season in life.

I had no idea what to expect on my next trip to Haiti.  I just knew that I was going and that it was the right step to take.  Those of you who know me personally, you know that I am always being pulled in about 18 directions, yet somehow I was made to travel all of these roads… all at once.  People look very confused when i tell them that I’m on my way to working in politics in Haiti (as one of my major goals), yet my next step in life is divinity school.  I smile at their confusion because I have seen a glimpse of God’s divine plan in all of this.  So as I was preparing to come to Haiti, I realized that I could literally do just about anything and it would fit under one of the umbrellas of work and ministry to which I feel called.  But I didn’t want to do just “anything.”  I wanted the right thing.  Right for the moment in time and right for the stage in my life, so I had to trust God to open that door and guide me to it.  I lifted that prayer to God and He was more than happy to oblige.

Only days before my plane took off, I received a call from a friend I haven’t seen or talked to in years.  It’s been so long that I did not have her phone number saved in my phone (and I have hundreds of contacts on record that I never delete).  She called to put me in contact with a friend that she met at a party who was going to Haiti in a week.  This man was connected to the Jean-Robert Cadet Restavec Foundation.  Soon I will explain to you what a Restavec is and how they live.  For now you should know that the word is a euphemism for a Child Slave in Haiti.

A couple of months ago, I was nominated to be the Ambassador to Haiti for the Stop Child Trafficking Now Campaign, a campaign to end the rampage of Sex Slavery in the modern world.  (Please visit the campaign website and educate yourself on the issue).  Until only days ago, this title of “Ambassador” wasn’t much more than a title.  I had no idea where to start.  The problem is so huge, and in Haiti it is sooo complicated.  I prayed that God would give me guidance for this campaign and He answered with the JRC Restavec Foundation.

A week after arriving in Haiti, the director of the foundation called me.  I never had the chance to meet the man that my friend put in contact with me, but he insisted that they connect with me, so they did.  After a few talks, they realized that we had the same heart about the issue and they invited me to come on board.  Their cause is not exactly the same as SCTNow, but in Haiti, this problem is child trafficking’s big mother.  I have already had the privilege of being in contact with people who will be more than happy to partner with the SCTNow campaign when it comes to full force in Haiti.

If you’ve been reading my blog for awhile, by now you see a pattern developing.  It’s the story of my life.  God says go, and whenever I obey he works a miracle.  I have very little to do with my own success.  God is always hooking me up.  I wish I could tell you more reasons why this work is so essential for me now and for my future, but for now that will stay between God and I, and a select few people who are close to me and are praying for me.  Be looking for updates about this work and this Restavec issue.

Visit the Jean-Robert Cadet Restavec Foundation website for more info.  For even more, read Jean-Robert Cadet’s autobiography entitled “Restavec.” I’m several chapters into it, and each one is heartbreaking.  When I read it, I can only be thankful for one thing: that this man’s childhood slavery, like Joseph in the Bible, will serve to deliver thousands and eventually millions as generations of would-be Restavecs come and go.

Great Response from FFHS Freshmen

All I can say is “wow.”  I could hardly believe it when 1/3 of the Freshmen class of Felicity-Franklin High School stayed back to speak with me after my talk, committed to my big scheme of a relief drive.  And they all seemed so sincere.  A few even repeatedly pleaded not to be left out of the major planning.  I spoke to them about living above society’s mediocre expectations of them, and I shared my higher “expectations” of them based on what I have seen capable young people do around the country, and I challenged them to push their own abilities and potential.  Let’s just say that they managed to exceed even my expectations by tripling the the number of volunteers that I had hoped for.

Thank you for your prayers.  I have three more stops on this trip.  Pray that God will continue to move hearts.  And pray also that God will give me wisdom in dealing with so many young volunteers.  We brainstorm and form teams on Monday.  I am really, really excited about them.  I will report more details soon.  For now, I’m headed home, then off bed so I can wake up and have breakfast with the best retired teacher in the world.  That’s right, the wondeful Mrs. Klump.  Aren’t you jealous?

So what was accomplished? (edited post)

I am so thankful for the partners that I finally found to turn this vision into a reality. SOOO very thankful. As I said last time, working with trustworthy Christians who I know and respect has made a world of difference. It’s partly because they already know and respect me, but also because I fell upon a unique group of people who believe in my vision, who put forth excellence in all that they do. Previous relationship makes a huge difference. Of course that is natural, but I am still unsettled by how “un-natural” it feels to me the way so many people/professionals are unwilling to trust and help a perfect stranger with a good vision and good intentions. My dad told me many times, but it took me a long time to understand that when I approach someone with a great idea in Haiti, the first thing that they are wondering is “what is this guy trying to take from me?” The second question they ask is “how can I use this to my advantage?” It doesn’t matter what the project is. Those two questions almost always pass through the person’s mind.

A few weeks ago an American pastor, who used to run a Haitian adoption agency/orphanage, stayed in my home for a week. We had a lot of time to talk about his experiences in Haiti and our dreams and visions for Haiti. He told me a very unfortunate story of how he had to shut down the orphanage after being taken advantage of so many times. Why would people take advantage of a man who is helping fatherless children find families? Well, when they asked themselves the two questions that I mentioned earlier they determined that this pastor must be making a fortune by “selling” these children to American families. (If you are wondering how they can assume such a thing, look up the term “restavek” or “restavec” on Google and do a little reading). They also determined that they could capitalize on this supposed child-trafficking by stealing from him and/or requiring an unlawful “tax” for processing the children’s papers. Little did they know that this pastor was being forced to pay out of his own pocket because his ministry was running out of money. It was not uncommon for this already expensive process to become 10x more expensive than it should have been, all because of greedy, heartless men and women in power. All this because in a culture where everyone is used to doing whatever it takes to survive, people seem to have have little capacity to believe in purely good intentions. Not even from a little angel like me.

It was particularly difficult for me to adjust to this. But like I said several times already, this team from my church changed everything. I shared my vision and they took it and ran with it. Suddenly I don’t feel like the only one in the world that cares. I noted in the last week or two that the project is still moving slow, but this time its because the team cares about it and wants to do everything possible to make it a success. They have a strong desire to accomplish the goals of this project with excellence. There is a world of difference between how things are going now and how things went last year when I was working on a project through the Ministry of Education (government). In the M. of E. they only did the work because it was handed down to them from their boss. When I realized that they didn’t care enough to do the project well, I myself withdrew, because I was unwilling to put my name on yet another mediocre government project that makes them feel like they actually did their job. I would hate to help them make that mistake.

Now that I have a team, I find myself being more able to stick to what I am good at and entrusting other details to members of the team. This project forced me to do some things that I am not really hardwired to do. I’d say that for any project I am best used as a good set of eyes. Whether you need someone to see and envision the future, learn from the past, or to look over something current to find its strengths and faults and suggest improvements, I’m a great man for the job. These things I do very well, yet I did very little of that this summer. Those skills were only useful in the first month of research when I had to re-evaluate the need and adjust my plan to suit it. But more recently, I have been required to get down into the specific details. In the past couple weeks, while writing and translating the project/grant proposal, I was reminded that I don’t write grant proposals. At least not without getting a headache. I may have been forced to in past projects in Haiti because of lack of support, but truthfully I’m just not that kind of thinker.

When it comes to communicating, me and details aren’t very good friends. Its a strange thing. If you ask me questions, I can explain to you the details, because I’ve thought them over. But even if I can envision the whole thing in my head, I have trouble putting the minute details down concisely and clearly on paper. It’s as if I write with my head in the clouds. (Its strange that I can write concise political memos really well, but this skill still escapes me–probably because memos benefit more from my skill of evaluating a situation). What I do communicate well is vision and ideas. My proposal reflected that very well, and now a couple of my teammates who are more experienced and skilled in the domain of grant-writing are taking the vision, now clearly outlined and explained, and working with me to write a real proposal out of it. Then my evaluation skills will be handy again.

As I said, things slowed down again, but this time for a different reason. So chances are, I won’t be around for the initial meetings with the grant-givers and our potential speakers, but now I have full confidence in our team to handle that and many other things when I am gone. My project has truly become ours. It’s a really good feeling when you are able to share something as important as this. But now that I have about two weeks left, I have been thinking… “what have I really done here that is of value?” The only thing that I can say is that I dreamed and I persisted… I dreamed and I persisted through a difficult and unfamiliar terrain, and after rolling away many stones, I finally found fertile soil in which to plant my vision. Slowly, but this time very surely, it is growing. As you saw from my former posts, I had hoped to leave with a lot more tangible results. But after looking at the terrain, and seeing this idea in the hands of capable and passionate people, I believe that I can truly say that my mission was accomplished. At least a very important part of it. I have many years ahead of me to work with this same team. I’m confident that we will see the rest of the vision come to pass in the near future. Then again, I am a hyper-optimistic idealist…

To my former classmates

It’s been a little over 4 years since we were all in the same room, throwing off our red caps and toasting to the new adventure ahead. On that day, I had the honor of sharing with you a bit of wisdom that I was fortunate enough to receive at an early age. Since then, some of you have graduated, some of you took a break from studies, some of you never pursued further education. Whichever category you fall into… the message I delivered was, and still is for you. Here it is again… in case you forgot it, or in case you didn’t really hear it the first time (I’m not offended–I wanted to get out of that hot gym myself). We have six years until our reunion. I hope that when we see each other again we will all be “solid chocolate bunnies,” full of “essence.” Oh, you forgot what I’m talking about? Now you HAVE to read on… Make sure to watch the video at the end. It Goes along with it. enJOY.

Good afternoon Class of 2004,

Thirteen years and we’ve finally made it. For most of us, the majority of the past thirteen years of our lives has boiled down to this one day. Graduation day; the only known cure to senioritis. It’s so exciting isn’t it? In a few moments we are going to get that diploma, flip our tassels, and walk out those doors, possibly for the last time. And when we get out there we’ll realize…. Oh my gosh, my life begins now! Now what? Well let me give you a head start on that. What is expected is that you take what you learned from here over the years, go out and do whatever it is that you love to do and be a success. But, you see, success is a word that people misuse everyday. In today’s society we have defined the word with money, big houses, fancy cars, and for those who are “down” with today’s slang, bling bling, and ice and rims. Mr. Webster defines success as a favorable or desirable outcome. You see, although we all may look good with the bling, that doesn’t fit my definition of success. I don’t know about you but the favorable outcome that I desire for my life is not to be fancy or famous, it’s to be fulfilled.

There have been thousands, maybe even millions of “successful” people who have lived and died miserable because they did not know how to measure success. They did not know what they were really living for, and they were never fulfilled. Let me tell you about a man named Solomon. Solomon had everything that you would think that a man could hope for. He was the king of an entire nation for 40 years, and he had acquired riches untold. He had not just one palace, not just two palaces. In fact, he had so many palaces they aren’t even sure how many palaces he had. As the writer of the entire book of Proverbs, Solomon is known by many as the wisest man to have ever lived. How about this one, guys? Solomon had about a thousand wives and concubines. (I always think it’s funny to see how the guys react to that. It always seems that all of the young guys are dreaming of what it would be like, while the married men are thinking one’s enough, thank you.–[pause for old people laughter]) But getting back to the point, Solomon had everything his heart desired. So he thought. Because as his time on Earth came to a close, this is what he had to say about everything he had worked to achieve.

“Meaningless! Meaningless! Utterly meaningless! EVERYTHING is meaningless! What does a man gain from all his labor at which he toils under the sun? All things are wearisome, more than one can say. The eye never has enough of seeing, nor the ear its fill of hearing. My heart took delight in all my work and this was the reward for all my labor. Yet when I surveyed all that my hands had done and what I toiled to achieve, everything was meaningless, a chasing after the wind; nothing was gained under the sun.”
—-Ecclesiastes 1:2,3,8 & 2:10b-11

Might I remind you that this was the wisest, and probably the richest, man to have ever lived? He had everything that we all dream of. And if Solomon was not content with what he had, I can tell you right now that you can spend you life chasing everything that the world has to offer, but you will never catch enough of it. We spend our entire lives collecting things to fill our homes, but the fullest rooms in our houses are closets, attics, and storage rooms. You adults know what I’m talking about. When will we realize that our lives can be so much more than stuff?!

By a show of hands, how many of you remember getting candy every Easter when you were little? Do you remember that first time you got one of those giant chocolate bunnies? Oh yeah, I remember my first one. I remember thinking “Mom has lost her mind! Seven kids with seven giant chocolate bars… What does she think is going to happen?” Well, she knew what she was doing, as usual. I unwrapped the thing, held in out in front of me with my eyes wide and a huge grin on my face thinking “this is gonna be the best thing that I have ever tasted.” So I finally bring it to my mouth, take a huge bite into it and my mouth is still empty. I turn it over and nothing drips out. I look inside and… It was HOLLOW! I felt so cheated. That was the first and last giant chocolate bunny that I had ever tasted. You see, that company spends so much time and effort building up that bunny so that it is appealing, but it’s worthless because it has no cream filling, no caramel, no marshmallow, no nougat, nothing! It has no essence.

Friends, our lives can be the same way. Many of you will still figure it out the hard way. You will spend all of your time building yourself up. You may be rich, you may be popular, you may be powerful, but in the end, you will feel like have accomplished nothing, unless you have found that essence. I know that there are adults out there that can testify to this, and please do! This is something that we always need to be reminded of. What is it that we live for? At the end of his life, Solomon realized that there were only two things worth living for. 1.)Serving God and 2.)Serving his people. Why is that? Because both of these purposes produce eternal results. Service to the people around you leaves a legacy. Not only do people remember those who serve them, they strive to serve like them. It produces a ripple effect that will go on for ages. I think we all realized that in November of 2002 (the people present at her funeral were a testimony that my mother actually lived. Service like hers never ceases to produce results.) We are just tiny dots on a timeline, but in your short lifetime on earth, you can make an impact that will last forever. And tell me, is there any better way to produce eternal results that to serve an eternal being? People come and people go. Money is spent as quickly as it is earned. Games are retired as quickly as they are begun. But God was, is, and will always be. And that is why I have chosen to make my life his.

I believe that every single one of us has what it takes to be successful. But can you really be successful without ever truly being fulfilled? We can spend the rest of our lives building up whatever it is in this world that we think that we want, but without the right purpose, we are just empty chocolate bunnies. Friends, if you want to live a life to the fullest, live for a purpose that is greater than yourselves. Live for a purpose greater than yourselves. It is in this that we find a reason for today and the hope for a future. Thank you, and may God bless you in whatever you do.

The Search for Relevance: Misty Edwards

Short Version:

Long Version:

Search for Misty Edwards on YouTube.

Signs to Make Me Wonder…

Tonight, I write this as I am en route to Port-au-Prince from Cayes (a four-hour drive). After a day’s work and a long wait due to a radiator-related breakdown, we are finally on our way home.

While in Cayes, I had the pleasure of meeting with a dynamic young man, full of vision, who reminds me a lot of, well… he reminds me of myself. Have you ever felt like God sometimes makes your friends for you, long before you even meet them? When I reflect upon the people in my life and in my work that I meet along the way, I am more sure of it every day. Delva is one of a few of the leaders of ANUCH that I have met with thus far. The few that I have met with (who are all are pretty close to my age) are sooo on the same wavelength as me that it’s a bit frightening. We have similar ideas in respect to this project as well as many other things that we discussed in respect to our country, politics, education, religion, etc.

This is actually an answered prayer of mine. With the projects and ideas that I have been developing in my mind for Haiti, I have had, thus far, a bit of a problem finding like-minded people who also have time available to help me bring the details together. It was this problem that slowed, and eventually halted, my progress with the civic education program that I was developing last year with the Ministry of Education. Now, if these new relationships turn out the way that I hope, I can already see us working together on the former project as well as others in the future. I asked God for partners… I hope that these are the ones I was looking for.

Aside from the parallels in our thinking, there are also a number of coincidences surrounding the four current leaders of this project (myself and three others). Its enough to really make you wonder…

1. At least three of the four are named after our fathers and are nicknamed “Junior” at home: Nico, Camille, and I. (I just asked Delva, by email, if he wouldn’t happen to be named after his father as well). Being a “Junior” is probably a bit more common in Haiti, but not THAT common.

2. At least two of the others (Delva and Nico) have studied both theology and law. (If I heard correctly, Camille did as well. I will ask when I officially meet him on Sunday). I have already said that the next step in my education is a Masters in Divinity. What many do not know is that once again (as I had entertained earlier in my Duke career) I am considering pursuing a degree in law after the MDiv, this time I’m considering it a bit more seriously. I have met with Dean Wilson, and I officially registered with Duke’s Pre-Law Department the day before leaving Duke. This is, in fact, the first time that I am publicly declaring this possibility. If I do end up with both degrees, this would be the most coincidental match-up of all, because I don’t think that it is a common combination in Haiti (because of cultural views toward the professions).

3. My favorite coincidence is the fact that Delva, the young man that I just met with this morning, was ordained as a Pastor on the exact same day and time of day that I was: on the evening of January 6th, 2008. He even heard the announcement for my ceremony on Radio Lumiere and took note of my name. How ’bout that..? Talk about signs that make you wonder…

Now I’m not superstitious, and I don’t believe in things like karma or dharma (or whichever has to do with coincidences). And I definitely don’t make decisions based on coincidences, but I do believe that sometimes God will send certain signs your way to let you know you are on the right track. Sometimes, it’s big signs in florescent colors, clear enough to cause you to take note as you watch something special develop before your eyes. We’ve only just begun, but I already can’t wait to see what will become of this partnership in the future.

Now, I’m off to write a short message for my little ones and their parents tomorrow morning. Tomorrow is Global Children’s Day, and apparently they have been waiting to hear me speak. It’s the perfect occasion.