Thrice a Martyr, Dead Man Walking… Yet SOOO Alive!

This past weekend my life changed for good… It was like Christ came into my life all over again. I could tell you all of the details, but everything external was so minute, cuz it was nothing new to me. Yet on the inside, a switch was flipped. You know what its like when you hear the same thing over, and over, and over… Then suddenly…. it’s like you are more attentive on the inside and everything in you is rearranged. It all started with Allen Hood…. “It IS possible to live like Christ…” “My whole life boils down to one thing…” Thinking about it all sends me chills today. Thank you Allen.

During Allen’s second talk, I went into a day dream. In it, I saw myself walking to the house of a man. I knew in my heart that when I told this man about Jesus, he was going to kill me. I get there, I preach to him, and whaddaya know… he kills me. I don’t see myself die. Instead I go into a flashback. In this flashback I see myself talking to a friend. (sidenote: i can never see this friends face. people say that when you see a faceless man in your dreams/visions its either the Holy Spirit, or it means the general population–or no one specific). I say to this friend, “WHEN this man kills me, I want you to raise me from the dead. He MUST know about Jesus.”

[Flash-foward] –> here I am again, walking to the house of the same man. Dead and back again. Surely he’ll listen to me now, right? Nope… he kills me again. Once again, I don’t see myself die, but I have another flashback. I’m talking to my faceless friend again. I says to him “this time, when he kills me (so apparently i knew), it doesn’t matter what my body looks like when I get back to you, Raise me up again. This man must know about Jesus.” [Flash forward] —> here I am again… dead and raised twice, body restored, will he listen? I don’t know. That’s where the dream ended.

This is not necessarily a litteral future event. It is a lifestyle that I am called to live. My message is more important than my life itself. When someone uses their words to “kill” me for my message, I want to be able to rise again without personal offense, and full of love, approach the man who is set on killing my joy, hope, peace, and love.

You can’t kill a love like Christ’s. Could you imagine…? The God who created the Universe sat in His heavenly library, reading the books on your life. After reading them and seeing how rediculously evil man can be, after seeing how each and every person deserves to reep the fruit of their evil deeds, an angel asks him, “Are you sure you want to do this, sir?” His answer? “I have to. I’m the only one who can change the endings to their stories. They need me. I love them. I must be there for them. I will take their place in death. There is no greater love than this, and I AM love. I will take their place, that they may know the goodness that is GOD.”

Jesus, thank you. All I have to offer is my life for yours. It’s an uneven trade, but it’s all I have. Thank you that in giving my life, I have found the true life. One worth living. In a choice between All or Nothing… I choose it all, by giving my all to you.

If you don’t know Jesus this way, PLEASE, PLEASE ask me about Him. He is the best thing to ever happen to you, even though you don’t know it.

Losing my life… Again

In a book called Jesus Freaks, and over the past few years of my life I’ve heard countless stories of my Christian brothers and sisters all over the world over the last 2 millenia who have had to pay the ultimate price for their faith. Some are miraculously saved (look up John the apostle, the one that just would not die), but most are not. EVERY THREE MINUTES a Christian dies for his faith. That isn’t counting the millions who are imprisoned and tortured daily for even up to half of their lives (look up Pastor Richard Wurmbrand). Most of them could avoid this treatment with three words: “I don’t believe.”

After many years of being a Christian, again I have considered my life and all that it’s worth to me. I’ve never been told to deny Christ or die, but after weighing my options, denial is like dying a thousand deaths. When you find something as real as the love of Christ, he becomes a part of you. Denying him is like killing the most real part of yourself.

If tomorrow I found myself in the midst of a bonfire built for the hatred of my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, and you were to ask me in the middle of it all, “is it worth it?” I would join the millions before me and say that it’s worth every minute. To him, my life was worth his death, so to me, my death is worth his life. Even a non- physical death that takes daily re-dedication. With every moment I give to Him, he lives through me, and the life that he has shown me is worth it all. I’ve found something worth dying for, and now that I’ve found it I can truly live. If you haven’t found that reason worth dying for, if you haven’t found him, you haven’t really lived. In fact you’re already dead where you stand. I was dead once… then I exchanged the life I that I thought I had for the real life of another. I’m alive in him, he’s alive in me. OUR life, together, is worth it. Him and me and my extremely large adopted family.

You can’t ask the millions who have already paid the price why he’s worth it, but you can ask the man who is willing to join their ranks. But befor you do, let me ask you. What’s your life worth? Jesus believed yours was worth all of his. Do you believe it? If so, will you stand like you mean it? In him i’ll stand forever. To live is for Christ, and to die… even better.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8in1rLUbT1o
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1gLUd-5xqWY
http://www.persecution.com