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Trusting the Poor
I was recently duped by a very, very strong deception. Unfortunately for you, I have consciously decided not to share the details of it on this blog. All I can say is that I was trying to help someone who seemed more credible, and definitely more defensless than the average person who asks for help, and I (along with several others) was deceived. It was so very disappointing and sad… The worst part is that if the same scenario were to happen again, I can’t think of anything that I would do differently except for harden my heart towards the person. You too, would have done the exact same thing. I know it’s probably frustrating to imagine it without the story, but I’m sticking to my guns and holding back. Just trust me on this one. Not a man on earth with a heart and the resources to help could have resisted this deception. That is what is most saddening. If you help everyone that you feel that you ought to, you are bound to get deceived.
This has gotten me thinking. The hardest part about working in Haiti is trusting people. Let me preface this by saying that I love Haiti and I love my people, but Good Lord do we have vices. Every Haitian that I know will admit that. For every great Haitian that I know there seems to be someone else out there that is just searching for a way to use you and suck you dry. I know of a small NGO that fired a Haitian employee (I think for stealing) and on his way out, he stole the company car. This after the NGO had already invested in him in other ways, including paying for his university education. They couldn’t do any more to help him… so he stole what they could not give him.
My dad faces some of the same problems all too often. One man tried to kidnap him only weeks after asking for (and receiving) some cash to help him in a time of need. Dad caught him plotting with his partners on his cell phone before backing him into a corner with a “baton” while calling the police. The generous gift was too small… He wanted to suck the giver dry. These are only a couple of many many stories that I have heard. After so many, you start to wonder, who can you trust enough to help? Who can you trust enough to team up with?
Since I grew up in the U.S., it is automatically assumed that my bank accounts are filled with money that I picked up on the streets. (Little do they know that 4 years of university studies left me several thousand dollars in the hole). I’ve had some pretty wild requests for help, most of them by people who were later found out to be con artists. The worst con artist sent her daughter to me, perhaps only 5 years old (knowing that I love children) to ask me to buy their tickets for an upcoming concert. The mom didn’t even hide the fact that she sent the little girl. I was disgusted, but I did my best to send away the child with a smile. It was not her fault that her mother was teaching her the arts of begging and deception.
Recently, especially since i’ve been seen walking around with “blancs,” I have had a few more requests that surprise me. Sunday morning after church, a lady whom I have never seen before in my life approached me and asked me for some money (I think to buy food on her way home). I looked at her and tried to recognize her… See, I could understand such a request coming from someone that I know and see often… but a stranger? Doesn’t she have friends and family to ask before she runs up to the pastor’s son? It’s sad but there are way too many people in Haiti who are dishonestly gaining off of the fact that everyone is needy. So I shook my head and sent her away. The worst request came by phone a few days ago. A lady who heard our phone number on a previous Radio transmission called with a story that I have heard before: “My child is sick, I can’t afford to send any of them to school, and I’m about to lose my house. How can you help me ‘Pas?’ You’re my only hope.” I shook my head and told her that there are way to many people before my eyes that have the same problems and I can’t help any of them and I know them. All I could offer was a prayer that God would send “another hope” her way. She didn’t want it. Maybe she wasn’t desperate enough to receive anything that she could get.
The same problem exists on a smaller scale in the U.S. People avoid giving to the homeless, saying that they don’t want to help them to buy drugs and cigarettes. Its a legitimate concern, but Its unfortunate that many people who are really in need go hungry because of another man’s vices. In Haiti, I find it really, really sad that you can’t take someone at their word (sadly, even in the church) because the last “sheep” that you tried to feed bit you with his peculiarly sharp teeth and howled as he ran off. All the while, those who are really needy get weeded out with these amoral, “san wont” (shameless) deceivers. And you would think that the group of people that you should be able to trust would be the poor. Sadly, this is not always the case in Haiti. I have so much to learn.
Phew… I need a happy blog topic… Maybe I’ll start blogging about Joycelyne again… Okay, if you promise to come back, I promise that the next blog won’t depress you. I Promise.
