How my internship got me…

I might have been disappointed if my work arrangements in Haiti were anything short of miraculous.  With that said, I can say that I am a very happy man.  God really hooked me up this time… as usual.

It all started in October.  Really it started long before that, as all of my stories seem to, but to be brief, lets start on the night of October 27, 2008.  That night, Pastor (and Prophet) Jim Laffoon made a visit to Duke University, picked me out of a crowd and started “reading my mail.”  This was one of the few times in my life that I felt so naked and transparent, as if my life really were an open book, accessible to anyone who could hear the voice of God.  After accurately recounting many of the things that God had placed on my heart, both past and present, Pastor Laffoon assured me that God was going to place me in a “divine internship” during my next season in life.

I had no idea what to expect on my next trip to Haiti.  I just knew that I was going and that it was the right step to take.  Those of you who know me personally, you know that I am always being pulled in about 18 directions, yet somehow I was made to travel all of these roads… all at once.  People look very confused when i tell them that I’m on my way to working in politics in Haiti (as one of my major goals), yet my next step in life is divinity school.  I smile at their confusion because I have seen a glimpse of God’s divine plan in all of this.  So as I was preparing to come to Haiti, I realized that I could literally do just about anything and it would fit under one of the umbrellas of work and ministry to which I feel called.  But I didn’t want to do just “anything.”  I wanted the right thing.  Right for the moment in time and right for the stage in my life, so I had to trust God to open that door and guide me to it.  I lifted that prayer to God and He was more than happy to oblige.

Only days before my plane took off, I received a call from a friend I haven’t seen or talked to in years.  It’s been so long that I did not have her phone number saved in my phone (and I have hundreds of contacts on record that I never delete).  She called to put me in contact with a friend that she met at a party who was going to Haiti in a week.  This man was connected to the Jean-Robert Cadet Restavec Foundation.  Soon I will explain to you what a Restavec is and how they live.  For now you should know that the word is a euphemism for a Child Slave in Haiti.

A couple of months ago, I was nominated to be the Ambassador to Haiti for the Stop Child Trafficking Now Campaign, a campaign to end the rampage of Sex Slavery in the modern world.  (Please visit the campaign website and educate yourself on the issue).  Until only days ago, this title of “Ambassador” wasn’t much more than a title.  I had no idea where to start.  The problem is so huge, and in Haiti it is sooo complicated.  I prayed that God would give me guidance for this campaign and He answered with the JRC Restavec Foundation.

A week after arriving in Haiti, the director of the foundation called me.  I never had the chance to meet the man that my friend put in contact with me, but he insisted that they connect with me, so they did.  After a few talks, they realized that we had the same heart about the issue and they invited me to come on board.  Their cause is not exactly the same as SCTNow, but in Haiti, this problem is child trafficking’s big mother.  I have already had the privilege of being in contact with people who will be more than happy to partner with the SCTNow campaign when it comes to full force in Haiti.

If you’ve been reading my blog for awhile, by now you see a pattern developing.  It’s the story of my life.  God says go, and whenever I obey he works a miracle.  I have very little to do with my own success.  God is always hooking me up.  I wish I could tell you more reasons why this work is so essential for me now and for my future, but for now that will stay between God and I, and a select few people who are close to me and are praying for me.  Be looking for updates about this work and this Restavec issue.

Visit the Jean-Robert Cadet Restavec Foundation website for more info.  For even more, read Jean-Robert Cadet’s autobiography entitled “Restavec.” I’m several chapters into it, and each one is heartbreaking.  When I read it, I can only be thankful for one thing: that this man’s childhood slavery, like Joseph in the Bible, will serve to deliver thousands and eventually millions as generations of would-be Restavecs come and go.

Desire [Re]defined

On November 8, 2008, God set me on the most exciting journey that I have ever ventured into.  He has given me the honor and privilege of courting his most beautiful and wonderful daughter, Joycelyne Absolu.  From the beginning, I have struggled to find words to express the depth of emotion that I feel toward her, and how I feel every day when I hear her voice, when I see the way that she looks at me, and as I contemplate her encouraging words toward me… wow.  I feel it now just writing about it.  Joycelyne is Absolutely amazing.  But like every other word that I have ever used to describe her or this experience of courtship, I feel like that was an understatement.  Every day, I find my limited vocabulary being stretched as its words are redefined by this joyous experience.

Before I continue, I want to acknowledge that I know that my readers are probably from one of two opposite camps.  Some of you are praying this will become a sanctified version of a Danielle Steele romance novel, full of juicy details, but for those of you who fear that I might turn into mush right before your eyes, let me assure you that there is a lesson to be learned in this blog.  If you make it to the last few paragraphs, I believe that you will get a little insight on the way that your maker looks at you and desires you.

For a long time I have held this theory about relationships.  I believe that every relationship on earth exists to teach us more about God, and I believe that strong relationship with God, in its various forms and paradigms (i.e. father to son, friend to friend, or lover to lover) will help us to be stronger in our earthly relationships.  I have never known this to be more true than I do now.  I now know that when I am touched by the way that Joycelyne looks at me, I am only feeling a glimpse of what the Lover of my Soul feels when I look toward him with a look that expresses honor, esteem, worth, and desire (See Song of Songs 4:9).

In the last few days, the word “desire” has been redefined for me.  I am currently in Haiti, and communication between Joycelyne & I has been, to say the least, very inconvenient.  I left my cell phone SIM in the U.S., so now I’m borrowing my Dad’s until mine is mailed to me.  Dad had our home land-line fixed, but it has been very inconsistent, working some mornings, or some evenings, but cutting us off very often.  Joycelyne often tries to call me through an international account that I set up in the U.S., but not only is it expensive, but has also proven to be very unreliable.  So, due to all of this, and also due to unreliable electricity, Joycelyne and I had not had a real conversation for nearly a week (up until yesterday afternoon).

I was frustrated.  I checked everything that could be wrong with my internet connection in order to get the home phone working.  I could not do anything to fix it.  Joycelyne tried calling me through my International Account since it is cheaper for her to call me… but she couldn’t get through.  Last night, Dad told me about a special that Haitel has on international calls.  This morning I found out that his Haitel phone was not working.  Everything was against me.  The two-and-a-half day electric blackout was the final blow, cutting off even email.

Frustration wasn’t the only emotion that I felt as I dealt with this issue all week, nor was it the strongest.  The most prominent was a familiar one, yet much stronger than I’ve ever felt before.  It was desire.  I just wanted to hear her voice.  I just wanted to encourage her in her work.  I wanted to pray with her.  I wanted to see her smile and know that she was happy.  I wanted to see her eyes one more time.  But I couldn’t, no matter how much I wanted to.

God spoke to me one morning as I was inspecting a cable that connects us to the internet, already “knowing” in my heart that my efforts were in vain.  (I was guilty of cutting my quiet time short in order to check into this problem, hoping I could talk to Joycelyne before she went to work.)  He said to me, with a hint of jealousy in his voice, “I wish you would try this hard to connect to me when it feels impossible.  Even more than you want time with her, I want time with you.”

I was floored by the thought of it.  My head started spinning with thoughts.  I had seen a glimpse of what Joycelyne was experiencing on her end through our little conversation snippets.  She was also trying everything that she could to connect to me, and probably also wondering what I was doing to connect to her.  Did I miss her like she missed me?  Had this disconnection negatively affected the way that I feel toward her?  She had no way of knowing what I was thinking or feeling.

Have you ever felt like you can’t connect to God?  You’ve done everything that you know to do, but you just can’t get through to him.  You wonder what he’s thinking of you.  Does he miss “the good times” as much as you do?  Maybe he doesn’t even care that you are trying to get through to him.  Maybe you should just stop trying.

DON’T STOP!  I can guarantee you that God is doing all that he can to fix the lines of communication so that he can have sweet communion with you again.  He desires to hear your voice even more than you desire to be heard.  He desires to speak to you even more than you want to hear him.  We may not understand the thing that stands between us and God and what happens to make it hard to communicate with him at times, but if courtship can be likened in any way to our relationship with God, then I can guarantee you that God awaits a breakthrough in communication with deeper longing and desire than you do.  Keep pressing into him.  One day you’ll get through, satisfying your heart and His very own desire.

Signs of Life: Epitaph

After discussing the lives of several members of the “Hall of Fame of Faith,” the writer of Hebrews makes the most glorious statement about those who have suffered for their faith.

“35 Women received back their dead by resurrection. Some were tortured, refusing to accept release, so that they might rise again to a better life. 36 Others suffered mocking and flogging, and even chains and imprisonment. 37 They were stoned, they were sawn in two, they were killed with the sword. They went about in skins of sheep and goats, destitute, afflicted, mistreated— 38 THE WORLD WAS NOT WORTHY OF THEM—wandering about in deserts and mountains, and in dens and caves of the earth.”

—Hebrews 11:35-38

I ponder this scripture often.  It is written on my door in Haiti, and I would read it as I would leave for the day.  Over the years in college, I have had it posted on walls and computer wallpaper to remind me of the ultimate prize that I want to focus on.  I wonder what would it look like to live a life that is worthy of such an honorable statement.  These men and women were cast out and persecuted as if they were the ones who were unworthy of the world, but God had a different perspective on their lives.  It was, in fact, the world that was not worthy of their presence, so God brought them Home.

What would it be like to live a life so abandoned, so bold, and so extravagant that there is no prize on Earth that is “worthy” of me?  What if I could catch the same heavenly perspective that these men and women caught and really let go of all need for human recognition, any fear of the negative opinions of others, any desire for material wealth, and any craving for a comfortable life?  What could a man accomplish if he was free of any desire for what the world considers to be worthwhile?  What if it could be said of me: “The world was not worthy of this man, so God took him.”

Most people don’t realize it, but we actually get to choose what is written on our own tombstone.  We choose it by the way that we live.  This epitaph, this final statement engraved in marble marking our final earthly resting place, is a summary, a testimony of all that we stood for.  I pray to God that I can make it known through my actions that I stand for and live for something that cannot be found in this world.  It is a lofty goal.  In fact, I believe it is the highest goal.  I know that this world is not my home, but as arrogant as it may sound, I want to live for God in such a way that it can also be said that this world was not worthy of my presence.

So what about you? What do you want on your tombstone?

Godly Investment: Duke CCF Devotional

Focal scripture: Colossians 1:3-14

“…As indeed in the whole world [the gospel] is bearing fruit and growing—as it also does among you, since the day you heard it and understood the grace of God in truth… For this reason, from the day we heard, we have not ceased to pray for you, asking that you may be filled with the knowledge of his will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding, so as to walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to him, bearing fruit in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God… “
–Verses 6, 9 & 10

In the face of the current financial crisis, many Americans have been suddenly re-introduced to the concept of “smart spending” and “smart investment.”  Many are beginning to learn the difference between a luxury and a necessity, when they once thought them to be one in the same.  By working part-time at classy restaurant, I am witnessing first-hand that many are learning to forgo the regular splurge on an expensive meal to embrace the culinary arts at home.  When resources are scarce, we wise up.

What is interesting to me about this scripture, is that Paul assumes that God is also a wise and frugal investor, even though the resources of his knowledge are unlimited.  If you step back a few verses to verse 6, you will see that Paul and his partners prayed for the Colossians relentlessly because of the fruit being produced by their faithfulness to the word that they received.  Paul saw a chance for a “great return” on God’s further investment into the Colossians, so he prayed that God would give them more.  We do not see the result of his prayer in scripture, but I can guarantee, based on other scriptures (namely the parable of the talents–See Matthew 25:14-30), that God surely answered that prayer.

We all want to know God more.  We all want to know His will.  As you pray and fast today, I challenge you to examine the fruit of the gospel that you received.  God gives more to the faithful.  Pray that he will do just that for Christians on this Campus.  Pray that he will exalt the knowledge of the faithful, in increase the faithfulness of the knowledgeable.

Whatever Happened to the SABBATH?

Last year I had an amazing revelation.  Ready For it?  It will Change your life.  Here goes: The Sabbath day is supposed to be kept HOLY!

Pretty simple right… After all, it is one of the Ten Commandments.  But we seemed to have forgotten that “rule” in the midst of the rest of the rules through the modern fight against legalistic thinking and living.  We are all about living free from the law and under grace.  We are so for it that we often forget that the law was never abolished by Christ, and that to this day, it exists for our own benefit, even though we are “free” from it.  Sure we can eat all of the pork chops we want, but we all know that God was probably trying to protect our health by keeping us away from that filthy animal.  And in this particular case, under grace, we are no longer legally bound to the Sabbath… But why work when you can rest?  I know what you’re thinking: “Because I have soooo much to do, and so little time.  God understands, right?” Sounds legit.  After all, God wants us to succeed in all of our endeavors.  So since it is a bit too easy to give a reason why we should take advantage of our chance to “live under grace” and ignore the law of the Sabbath in the name of productivity, I will attempt to answer an opposite question: “Why should we be diligent to rest according to God’s prescription?”

Most of the following comes from an old journal entry from June of 2006:

“[In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth.]  By the end of day 6, He saw through to the end of the world and He wasn’t/isn’t worried one bit.  [Even] his plan for redemption was established before the fall (Rev 13:8).  Genesis 2:2 says God finished all of his work.  [Considering the eternal weight of his words, I don't believe that our eternal God would have called anything "good" without first looking at it's end.]  God who exists outside of time worked ahead of time to make sure that all would be well for us.  He does not sit on the edge of His seat looking to see how to respond to our mistakes and the Enemy’s attacks.  He already responded [to the entire future in the beginning], and when he saw the end, He said it was ‘VERY Good,’ [and He rested.  And now, He invites us into HIS rest] (Hebrews 4).“

What is the “rest of God?”  What does it require?  How do we access it?  The rest of God is assurance, it requires trust, and it is accessed by faith.

I had two midterm exams today (Tuesday).  As soon as those were finished, I had to read as much of 80 pages of an academic psychology document that I could in order to post a coherant comment on Blackboard by 5pm.  After working all weekend, spending one entire night in prayer at church, and taking care of a couple random issues that showed up on my doorstep over the weekend, I had very little time to study on Sunday.  I did as much as I could and went to bed, excited about Monday.  What is so great about Monday?  Monday is my chosen day for a Sabbath (Lord knows that my Sunday’s ain’t restful… and forget about Saturdays.  The grace I choose to access is the grace that allows me to choose the day).  Yesterday morning, I woke up early and spent the whole morning with God.  Then, at noon, I had a scheduled lunch with a new friend of mine.  Following our lunch, I went back to my appartment and started a new book.  Later on, I had a great conversation with one of our new worship team members, then I went on to play my guitar for a couple hours as I waited for the start of Monday Night Live.  At the end of MNL, I stuck around for a couple more hours strumming away.  It was a great day… and the last thing on my mind was my exams and my readings.

Then the night came to an end, so I sacrificed my first few hours of Tuesday to be sure that I was ready for the first exam.  I was pretty confident about it, so I went to bed.  I awoke three hours later, surprisingly refreshed and ready to go.  I studied for a couple more hours, then went in and killed the test (if you don’t understand my slang… that’s a good thing).  Two hours of studying later, I went into my demography class and killed that exam too.  I blanked out on one part of the last question on the exam, but it was definitely not enough for me to regret a wonderful day’s rest.  Finally, after an hour’s worth of reading, I posted what I thought to be 2 brilliant discussion questions.  I was able to rest because I knew that God had my back.  On my sixth day (Sunday), I looked at the work that I had done in the week, then looked forward to Tuesday, and by looking at it from God’s perspective, I was able to see that “it was [gonna be] very, very good.”  So I rested.  I rested and I enjoyed his presence with me all day.  And guess what… everything really did work out.

So the question I am asking is “why should we be diligent to rest?”, but the real question is “why not?”  The Sabbath rest is about trust, and God is worthy of it.  I’ve been doing this Sabbath thing for awhile now, and although it may seem contradictory, I had never accomplished more in my life in a given seven-day week than I am able to do now in six.  (Maybe it is partly because I take my six work-days more seriously.  The first part of the Sabbath command is to “work six days,” so I try to honor both parts of the command to the best of my ability).  I can only rest to the degree that I can trust God.  When he said “it is good,” I believe that he was also looking forward to my own individual future.  He is not worried about me.  He saw my end.  My destiny has already been assured, and every week he reminds me that he’s got everything covered.  Every week, I learn in a new way that he is faithful to that word.

If your boss gives you paid vacation, you’re gonna take it.  So think of it this way.  When God set the Sabbath apart, he was giving you 1/7th of your life as “vacation” from your your own agenda.  He gives it with a guarantee (payment) that everything will still be “very good” in the end.  All you have to do is trust him enough to rest, free from worry.  So I ask again, why would you break your neck trying to “get things done,” when God promises that you can accomplish all that really needs to be done when you trust him enough to “waste” an entire day on Him?  I challenge you to take Him at his word.  Pick a day, spend it with him, grab a book, buy a guitar, get in front of a piano, spend time with your family, enjoy the world that he created as a gift for you.  Do what you had always wanted to do and never had time.  Do it regardless of what tomorrow holds.  Since God is the one who told you to do it, I think that you will be surprised at how everything else perfectly and amazingly falls into place.