A Little more than “Church as Usual”

When I wrote the blog about desperation, I failed to adequately explain what I meant by being discouraged by “church as usual.” I think that some people may have misunderstood the fact that I was describing a looong stretch of time since I’ve had this feeling (since at least February) and that it mostly occurred in the U.S. Many of you may have thought that I was describing the current revival at our church in Haiti. I do sometimes get the same “church as usual” feeling here because God said he can surpass my imagination. To this day, my imagination surpasses what I have seen, so I cannot yet be satisfied, because I know that his promise is true. But here in Haiti, the standards of “church as usual” are being raised every day.

Last night was more than ridiculous. Something big really broke through last night. As usual, it got really intense at the end of the service when the call for prayer was being made. As Dad led the congregation in a prayer for healing and deliverance there were shouts all around in the crowd. People started jumping up and down, dancing, singing, every expression of joy that you could imagine were happening all at once. God was clearly working in lots of lives in the congregation at that moment. The “lighting” even changed to match the mood. It was getting dark then out of nowhere the sun “came back” and lit up the church with a golden-orange glow as if to visibly show the fire that was filling the building. This glow only lasted during prayer. When we were finished, God flicked the switch and darkness came back. After the service no one wanted to leave, though it was dark and the streets aren’t always safe to walk on at night.

This service was broadcast on the Radio and the web. My Dad led people at home listening in the same prayer of healing and deliverance. Then he told people to call with their testimonies. By 9pm he received 51 calls and 15 messages (not including those who couldn’t get through while the phone was in use). Most of the calls were of people testifying of healing, but a couple of calls came from radio stations in Miami who also want a chance to broadcast what is going on in this church. Today we found out that hundreds of people have been calling the Miami station with testimonies that have not yet reached us and prayer requests of people who want to touch the same fire that has started here. I’m telling you, its not quite church as usual. Something big is happening here every day. Every day its looking more and more like what I described in the blog on desperation. A church filled with the presence and the power of God.

Still, when the excitement starts to fade and I lay down to sleep all I can imagine is our army of a few thousand filled up with the power of God to the measure described in the Acts of the Apostles. As we walk we’ll wake the dead, heal the sick with the touch of a shadow, rise up with the faith of Elijah to challenge the darkness of voodoo with the power of God, and have nightly face-to-face meetings with God himself–like Moses. With that kind of power on God’s people, Haiti could be transformed by us taking a walk across it. I’m satisfied by the presence of God that is filling this place, but I am always hungry for the greater things that he promised with his own lips. I am waiting for the things that surpass my imagination, for I know that His Word is true. God has given me a vision for it and every day I’m learning more about the level of desperation that is required to receive it.

I’m scheduled to preach the message that God gave me on Friday, August 10. It will be broadcast on Radio Lumiere (www.radiolumiere.org) around 5:30 Eastern (I think). It will be good for those of you who want to hear what’s going on but cannot speak or understand creole because I preach in English and my Dad translates. Unless God changes my message I’m delivering what he gave me weeks ago. God has only just begun His work here. We need to enjoy his presence and rejoice in our deliverance, yet stay hungry for and keep praying for more, because there is much more to come.

On another note, God is still moving strong with the children. Every day 6-12 come to know Him personally. Last year probably 80% of the new Christians were under 25. This year, they are mostly under 14. Those of you who know about the dream that God gave me before I came here know what that means. As usual, I didn’t start a thing… God did. I just walked in and got chosen to participate. Pray with me that God will accomplish it just like He showed me. For those of you who have no idea what I’m talking about. I’ll post the dream for you someday when I have another update about the kids.

Trying to be Desperate

Several months ago, all my desires were ruined; they were overcome by one stronger than any that I’ve ever felt before. For a long time, whenever I would read the amazing stories in the Bible I would be overcome with emotion and tears would fill my eyes. Why? Because everything I read about God in the past is possible today. I read that Moses talked to God face to face, like a friend. Peter walked down the street and people were healed in his shadow. Elijah shut up the sky with a word, and called down fire with another. Isaiah saw probably the most astonishing prophetic visions than any other prophet. Jesus Himself said that we will all do greater works than he did if we believe in him. I’ve heard of it happening in other places and with other people, but I haven’t seen them in my life yet. I’m not cool with that.

The more I read the more I become aware of the fact that I’m living an experience inferior to what God has in store for me. When I pray, the thought haunts me, in a good way. When I’m sitting in church I imagine every possible scenario that could take place in which the fire of God falls and a revival that surpasses the one we read about in the book of Acts takes place. Then when I realize I’m in for “church as usual” once again, I sometimes get a strange desire to leave. I never do, because I know I need to hear the Word of God, but I want more than I’m seeing and experiencing.

Recently, God kicked it up a notch. I didn’t really feel it until today, but as I prayed tonight at the crusade it hit me like a ton of bricks that I am still lacking something essential. Before my turn to preach comes, God always drops the message into my heart way in advance to begin praying and in order to get a vision for how the word should be applied. This time he dropped into my heart a message about desperation. A message about spending the last of what you’ve got (whether physical, mental, or emotional energy), trusting that God has got your “losses” covered, in order to receive more of His presence, strength, and power. The problem is, I’ve forgotten how to be desperate. I don’t think i’ve ever been desperate in in the same sense I see here. Other than the one long fast that I had that drew me in deeper in God, I feel like I never really knew how to be desperate. All I have is a heavy desire in my heart, but I don’t have the corresponding desperation to move me into action to receive what I desire.

As I was sitting in church last night one of the pastors asked for those who have received the fire of God that they are looking for to stand up (the theme of the revival is “Lord, I Need Your Fire”). I couldn’t stand. When the fire that I desire comes it will look like what I wrote about above. Don’t get me wrong. There are amazing things happening here every day, and I feel myself being lifted in the middle of it all. It’s amazing and wonderful… But every time the joy of each experience begins to fade I remember that the Word of God says that He can do things beyond what I can ask, think, or imagine… If that’s the case, then the fire I’m looking for is going to have to surpass my overactive imagination to satisfy me, because I know that the Word of God is true. As I watched people stand up around me that night as a testimony of the great work that God has been doing during this crusade, God started talking to me. “Many people truly have received some of what I have for them. There has been great deliverance every day [especially true tonight—WOW!], and there is more to come. It is true, they have felt my fire, but as I’ve revealed to you, there is more to reach for. Your job is to keep them hungry for it. Help me move them to desperation. I will answer.”

As I said it really hit me today that I know little about desperation. I know about hunger, but I struggle with faithfulness to a specific call or season of prayer, let alone being driven by desperation. I talked to Irina about this topic last night, and she reminded me that desperation is something to learn from the poor. (Yes blessed are the poor, the hungry, the thirsty, and the meek…). It’s a lesson that many missionaries miss because they are consumed with how they have to save the people they were sent to minister to. The truth is we all learn from each other. Ever since I’ve been here, I have seen an amazing display of desperation. Prayer every morning at 5am—packed out. Crusade every evening—packed. Recently there have been calls for corporate fasting and prayer and they will intensify over the coming weeks. Here I have seen a people who realize how much they need God in their lives and in their country. They have taught me a lot, but I have more to learn. As for the message that God has for me to preach… I feel like I’m on the verge of doing something rash, something unreasonable, something spiritual advisers would hesitate to recommend in order to receive the revelation that I need to deliver. I’m not sure how to be desperate, but I feel that I’m reaching the point where I’ll be willing to try anything. I guess that sounds like what I think desperation is… But I’m sure it’s easier to define than to walk out. Still, Lord, I accept the challenge. I’m putting on my running shoes…